


The Cat Burglar

by DapperJuniper



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, M/M, Meet-Cute, i called it a meet-cute but idk if it really counts as one, theyre freaks man
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-16 07:28:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18090023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DapperJuniper/pseuds/DapperJuniper
Summary: Kuroo Tetsurou has a stupid cat. A very stupid cat. He's saved his dumb cat from certain death multiple times- and fear absolutely strikes him when said cat climbs through his neighbor's open apartment window.So, of course, he has to break in.





	The Cat Burglar

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I haven't posted anything in a good three years, so I apologize for this being shaky!!! I'm hoping that this will be ~3 chapters. 
> 
> Thanks to my friend for the silly request for this very specific story.
> 
> Also, I don't have a cat, so sorry for any inaccuracies there.

Kuroo was desperately digging through a pile of clothes on his closet floor for a button up when he noticed that he hadn’t seen his cat in a few minutes. He’d been so preoccupied with dressing for this dinner that he’d lost track of his absolute idiot of a cat, Tesla. 

 

“Tes?” Kuroo walked out of his bedroom, still buttoning up his shirt. “I swear to god, if you’re stuck under the couch again…”

His apartment wasn’t that big, so losing his cat was kind of difficult. The little devil loved to claw, climb on, and get stuck under anything and everything. Kuroo had gone to the vet one too many times for Tesla eating inedible things. 

 

“I really don’t have time for this,” he called again, getting on all fours and peeking under the couch. No cat. He got up to check the other places- kitchen cabinet, bathtub, behind the TV- nothing. He was starting to get worried when he heard a small mewl come from his open door.

 

His  _ open door _ .

 

Kuroo turned a full 180 and stared at his balcony door. It was open, and Tesla had somehow managed to squeeze through the small broken piece on his screen door that he’d been begging the landlord to fix for months. The black tuxedo was sitting on the railing of the balcony, licking his paw and staring out at the city skyline as if he wasn’t an indoor cat.

 

Kuroo took three steps toward the door, using the billowing curtains to his advantage. He reached over to the small jar of treats he kept on his kitchen counter and grabbed two fish shaped snacks, still creeping slowly toward the door. He made a clicking sound with his tongue, and Tesla’s ears twitched. He still ignored Kuroo.

 

“Come here… I’ve got your favorite snacks,” he pushed the screen door fully open. The sound of the old screen made Tesla’s shoulders hunch. Kuroo stopped dead in his tracks and watched as his cat turned in his spot to face him. “That’s right, come back inside.”

 

Tesla’s eyes grew big at the sight of the treats. He put his shoulders low, and his pupils grew large. Kuroo wiggled the treat a bit more and waited for Tesla to jump to him-

 

\- and then he heard his phone ring.

 

“Shit,” He fumbled a bit with his pocket to get his phone to stop ringing, and the second he looked back up, Tesla was running along the railing toward the neighbor’s balcony. “Hey! Get over here!”

 

Kuroo ignored all of society’s rules as he climbed over his own balcony furniture, vaulted over the railing, and climbed onto his neighbor’s small patio table. Tesla hissed at him and bounded in through the open window, landing first in a plant box of blooming marigolds and definitely tracking dirt into the apartment.

 

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Kuroo was definitely going to be late. He was definitely going to miss Kenma’s big night- though he was sure Kenma didn’t really care- and if he did show up, he was probably going to be covered in claw marks and dirt.  _ Why  _ had he adopted the most demonic cat on the planet?

 

Kuroo slid down from on top of the table and walked up to the sliding door. The sun was starting to set, and the glare was harsh against the glass door. He cupped his hands around his eyes and peered in. Nobody seemed to be in the living room; there was a mess of blankets on the couch, and the TV was surrounded by small glow in the dark stars. Kuroo peeked around and noticed Tesla rolling on the floor behind the couch, swatting around at some small stuffed animal. Kuroo knocked lightly on the door, hoping that his neighbor was just taking an evening nap.

 

When there was no response, Kuroo looked down at the door handle and pulled a little. Locked. 

 

Kuroo sighed. He really didn’t want to do this, but Tesla was a special kind of stupid. He was sure that his cat would somehow find a way to die in there if he didn’t get to him soon. 

 

So, as one does, Kuroo quietly stood back on the table, crawled over the potted marigolds, and squeezed himself through his neighbor’s window. He almost instantly regretted this decision, as he fell directly into a sink full of dirty dishes. Kuroo grimaced at the stain of some sort of food smeared on his hand and climbed off the counter, banging his head on the cabinet in the process. He blinked a couple of times to let his eyes adjust to the darkness. 

 

The apartment was laid out similarly to his; a small galley kitchen with bright tile lead right into the living room. The bathroom was probably alongside the kitchen, as Kuroo could see the hint of a bed through the door open next to the TV. As he noticed before breaking in- er, entering less legally than hoped- there were blankets piled atop the small blue couch in the center of the living area. A small table with two chairs was pushed against the back of the couch, and he noticed a small desk with a cork board above it shoved next to the bathroom door. He wandered over to the desk and looked at a few of the pictures posted on the corkboard. Mostly movie and concert tickets, Kuroo was surprised to see a small rainbow flag on a stick sitting in the pencil cup. There was a shitty print out of Han Solo stuck to the cork board, next to a picture of two men standing with their arms around each other. Kuroo squinted a bit at the photo.

 

There were two young men, around his age, both wearing tank tops. Both had enormous smiles plastered on their faces, rainbow streaks going fully across their cheekbones. The one on the right was flashing a peace sign, but someone had bumped into him while the picture was being taken and his face was a complete blur. 

 

Kuroo perked up when he heard Tesla mew from across the room. 

“Tesla!” He whisper-shouted. Kuroo got down on all fours and crawled across the room to the couch. He was too preoccupied with figuring out where the meow had come from to notice the sound of the front door unlocking.

 

“Don’t be mean to me, Iwa-chan, I’m only trying to make sure you don’t flunk your classes,” Kuroo stopped dead in his tracks and turned his head up to the front door. “And don’t you call me a hypocrite-”

 

Brown eyes locked with Kuroo’s. He realized how bad this looked. He was crawling across the floor in the dark of his neighbor’s locked apartment, covered in dirt from the potted marigolds in front of the window, and for some reason he was wearing a dress shirt and pants. 

 

This was definitely not a good first impression.

 

“Hey… I’m gonna have to call you back. Yeah, I’m fine. Talk to you later. Mhm. Bye.” 

 

The man standing in front of him was too familiar. Kuroo was sure he’d seen him around campus before. It was odd he’d never talked to his next door neighbor, but Kuroo kept an awful schedule and had no way of really bumping into to people. Especially not like this.

 

His neighbor tilted his head and set down a bag of groceries. He was dressed a lot better for the weather than Kuroo- a tank top, shorts, flip flops. He casually shut the door behind him and flipped the light switch. 

 

“So,” he started, eyebrows raised. “Care to explain what this is?”

 

Kuroo started to open his mouth to say something, interrupted by a loud crash in the bedroom followed by the loudest cat scream, an equally loud  _ Jesus Christ!  _ from the brunette man standing in the foyer, and Tesla running full speed toward him.

 

“Tesla Starlord Dameron Kozume!” Kuroo grabbed his stupid cat with both hands and rolled with the impact of the furry beast launching itself at him, fear in its eyes. He made sure to grab onto the cat with both hands, then turned back to his neighbor. “My um. My cat crawled in your window.”

 

“... And I’m assuming you did too?” The man looked absolutely distraught, and his eyes were completely locked on the furball in Kuroo’s arms. Kuroo finally stood back up, and took a step back. 

 

“Listen, if he wasn’t such an idiot I would have waited for you to come back,” He started, petting the fur down along Tesla’s back. “But I’ve watched this cat smash his own head in a kitchen cabinet before, and I didn’t know if he was going to kill himself or something-”

 

“It’s. It’s fine.” The man waved his hand at Kuroo. “Can you just leave? I don’t like cats.”

 

“Oh. Yeah. Yeah, sorry.” Kuroo stepped forward toward the front door, and his neighbor opened it for him, not waiting very long for Kuroo to walk through it before shutting it in his face.

 

He was  _ sure  _ he knew him from somewhere.

 

* * *

 

“I’m telling you guys the truth! Remember that weird guy I was telling you about that I have that 8AM organic chem lecture and lab on Thursday nights with?” Oikawa was waving around a piece of lettuce on a fork. He was sitting outside at a table for lunch with Iwaizumi and Matsukawa. “He was in my apartment! On my floor!  _ Looking for his cat _ .”

 

Iwaizumi sighed and stared over at Hanamaki, who was furiously taking down orders from someone a few tables over. He just shook his head before turning back to Oikawa.

 

“I know. You’ve told me nine times today.” Oikawa opened his mouth to interject, but Iwaizumi cut him off. “Yes, I’ve been counting.”

 

“Don’t be so rude, Iwa-chan,” He pouted, setting his fork down and leaning back with his arms crossed. “It’s not normal. Who even does that?”

 

“Does what?” Hanamki slid into the fourth chair at the table quickly, glancing around himself. “I’ve got about two minutes before I have angry customers, so spill the tea quick or I’ll do it for you.” 

 

He nudged Iwaizumi’s cup of tea with his pinky, to which Iwaizumi grabbed the cup and pulled it away from him.

 

“His weird neighbor- who I’m sure is  _ not  _ a drug dealer- broke into his house because the his cat wandered in the window.” Iwaizumi picked up his tea and sipped it, staring Oikawa down the whole time. Oikawa pouted more, upset that he didn’t get to tell his version of the story- though Iwa-chan’s iteration was more the time-sensitive TLDR; that was needed for Hanamaki’s quick work break. “I’m sure he was doing you both a favor. The man’s cat got out, Oikawa. Of course he’s going to chase after it.”

 

“ _ He killed my flowers!”  _ Oikawa hissed, trying to keep his voice down. He didn’t need to be thrown out again, which had been so embarrassing. Hanamaki had gotten up and hurried to another table, watching as his three friends got tossed out for Oikawa screaming ‘ _ He nearly bit my dick off’  _ next to a table with two children and their mother. Needless to say, he’d learned his lesson when it came to screaming at the cafe. 

“Who kills flowers on purpose?” Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes and leaned forward, and Oikawa did the same. Hanamaki and Matsukawa both smirked and watched.

 

“Exactly! He must be a monster!” 

 

“This is the man who goes to your morning lecture wrapped in a pink blanket.  _ Think _ about what you’re saying.”   
  


“I’m saying that he’s a drug dealer! And a thief! And a freaky cat man!”

 

“ _ You can’t just judge someone based on their pets. _ ”

 

“ _ Watch me _ .”

 

The two were nearly at their throats when Oikawa noticed that his entire plate of food had gone missing. He turned and saw Matsukawa with the plate in his lap, and he was met with a smile and a small wave.

 

The conversation ended soon after with Oikawa whining, Hanamaki running back to work, Matsukawa laughing at Oikawa, and Iwaizumi wishing his tea was spiked.

 

* * *

 

8AM classes were always hard, but Kuroo absolutely dreaded having his chemistry lectures that early. At least in morning gen-eds he could sleep through the boring lecture and catch up on the missed hours. But in chemistry lecture, he actually had to pay attention. Which meant he needed all of his things together and ready to go.

 

Needless to say, Kuroo Tetsurou was  _ not _ adept at being put together.

 

Which is why on this particular morning, when he lifted his head off of the table a few minutes before lecture began, ready to set his phone to record in case he dozed off, he froze.

 

Walking past his seat was one absolutely familiar man. Brown hair fluffed out from around his head, glasses were pushed up on his nose- he had actual clothes on, unlike Kuroo’s slept-in pajama pants. A trail of girls followed behind him, asking him if he had slept well, and if he wanted any coffee. The man responded with a smile, but a glare passed over his face as he saw Kuroo.

 

And that man was his next door neighbor.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr @gaycultists! 
> 
> ps: im currently typing this in my university library before class and it's terrifying to post fanfic while in public.


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